Oh hey there!

Yikes!  I have not been around to keep you updated on my life. There isn’t much to say because I’ve been so busy. But the semester is now over and all I have left are finals. Yep, Finals!

I honestly cannot believe how fast this program went, even though each month felt like it was moving at a glacial pace. I’m going to be at practicum for two weeks, so I’m not even sure if I’ll come back to writing some fun adventurous stuff for all of you. Maybe I can write about my experience!

I have a list of things I want to talk about with all of you, like how I was Vegan for 6 months or a how-to survive condensed programs….there’s a lot more. I guess I just want to cover all my bases of all I have done in the past 7 months. Darn, I still even have to finish my yoga posts….you probably think I’m a slacker. But I just got super busy to write them.

There are some things that have remained unchanged, but I’m okay with those staying like that for awhile. What hasn’t changed you ask? Oh just my love life. It’s quite non-existent, but that’s kind of on me.

Anyway, I hope to start writing again and catching up once I’m done finals! Just one more week!

 

xoxo

My first bucketlist

I just wanted to share that it’s such a beautiful day today! I’ve been sitting on my bed just admiring how gorgeous it is. I have had such a productive morning–I’m trying to build good habits still and just have some sort of routine. I started cleaning my room and came across a lot of my old journals. I actually found my first journal ever. It’s one of those fuzzy leopard print ones…yeah be jealous.

Anyway, I was reading through some of the entries and I actually came across my first bucket list ever. So I figured I’d share that little entry with you and talk about whether I’ve accomplished those goals and if they match up to ones I have now.

So I’m going to type it out on here rather than show a picture of it because it is quite faded. A reminder I was 13 years old when I first wrote this, and I was also experiencing my first crush and so this list was created to keep myself in check.

August 8th, 2003

“…we’d go on lots of dates, it’s so great, but it’s only in dreams, because I want to study, get a good job with chemicals working at NASA and having a Chevy Trail Blazer….I want to play the saxophone…These are my wishes and goals:

  1. become more smarter, study harder, think harder, less playing
  2. become a chemist and work at NASA–study more
  3. Get a Chevy Trailblazer with a CD player, cool lights, 7 passengers in blue–work harder, earn lots of money
  4. Buy my parents a car and house –earn and save lots of money
  5. make my parents proud
  6. make it into space
  7. When all of this is done, I’ve learned everything. I still want to be single.
  8. Go to Europe to study more

Sincerely,

Me”

I was hilarious…just kidding. Okay, so even at 13 I had this ‘work hard, study hard’ mentality. And I guess, I was always a keener. I assume that I will always be a keener. So let me break this down now. I still believe in studying hard, but I don’t believe in “playing less”. I actually do want more fun in my life, I think it helps balance out my work hard mentality, plus we deserve a break after accomplishing so many things every day.

The whole “become a chemist and work at NASA” was short lived, because shortly after I wanted to become a marine biologist, a volcanologist, seismologist, and a whole lot more. There was a trend as to why I wanted to be all of these things. I just thoroughly enjoyed research, and I believe I’m now on the right track to do just that.

I don’t want a Chevy Trailblazer anymore. I was very specific to what I wanted back then and I still am. I already have a car, but my next two shall be awesome as well. I still want a CD player in my car, btw.

Oh number four, this will always be something I want to do for my parents. They have given me so much and I hope one day, I can do just that for them. I still try to make them proud, they say they are, but I still want to do anything to continue making them proud.

Haha, space…go into space…yikes. This still might be something I wouldn’t mind doing, but I don’t know how I feel about it.

Oh number 7, this hilarious. How does a 13-year-old even say this…perhaps I was telling myself my own future. I don’t necessarily know where I stand on this on most days. Some days, I’m all I don’t want to be single, other days I’m all for the ‘single life for me is just fine’. Again, I haven’t finished accomplishing my goals, but I also don’t mind accomplishing them alongside another person. Either way still works for me. I was just talking to one of my friends the other night, and we talked about this stuff. I know I want to be self-sufficient before I can involve another person in my life. Apparently I wanted to be single forever. (LOL) SMH

Number 8 has changed. I still want to go to Europe, but to travel and explore…but I guess you can still call it learning…I’d learn so much about the culture, the history, and stuff about myself probably.

This was quite funny to look at. I’m sure I have many more bucket lists throughout every journal I own, but since this was my first one, I wanted to see how much as changed in 12 years and I guess not too much has. Well, physically things changed…if you get what I mean….but I guess my priorities have always been the same. Also, I never learned to play the saxophone…I sing, though.

I hope you enjoyed this as much as my mother and sister did.

I’m 25…

First of all, it’s been awhile since I’ve written a post. I’m feeling slightly rusty. I apologize in advance.

Secondly, I’m 25 today. That’s right, I can no longer check off youth (18-24) on applications. It’s crazy how time flies. 24 was fun. I had a lot of ups and a few minor lows. I had a lot of issues trying to figure out where I wanted my life to go. Here I am, alive and well, on the path into the legal world. I have faced a few of my fears leading up to this day, and I look forward to doing a lot more. I decided that I wanted to talk about what I look forward to and I also decided to share a video of me singing a song that means a lot to me. It means a lot just because this is something I want to overcome, which is becoming a much more confident individual.

I feel like I have grown up a lot in the past few years, but this last year was a major turning point in my life. I decided to let go of a lot of things that I felt were holding me back. It was rough feeling like a failure, that I couldn’t get where I wanted to be. I’m passed that now and it feels good to know that that moment doesn’t define who I am. I still have a few things to overcome, but this song reflects what I had felt this past year. I look forward to a lot of things, I’m excited to be 25. I look forward to finally joining the working world in the area that I desire to be in. I hope to travel a bit more and just go on many more adventures.  This past year had amazing moments. I got to do a lot of things that I never expected. I surprised myself with what I was capable of doing. I don’t want to sound so full of myself, but I feel really proud of who I am.

I also wanted to thank everyone, my family, and friends for always being there for me. I love you all. You all mean a lot to me. I feel very blessed to have you all in my life. ❤

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And here’s the video…it’s pretty low budget…and I make weird faces when I sing…also my hair’s a hot mess…enjoy….:)

 

What am I up to?

Oh my, clearly I have been slacking with my blogging. I’m extremely behind with my posts about my yoga experience and I haven’t been able to share all of the exciting things in my life.

I hope to be able to catch up on blogging after next week. I have so much to write about, but no time to write. I wanted to share that I’m almost done my first semester of my LAA program. I’m super excited for the following weeks after my midterms.We’re going to be interviewing staff from firms and visiting the courts which is exciting. I’m swamped, but I’m doing well in my program. I’m not trying to toot my own horn, but I’m so proud of myself for loving what I do. I can’t complain much because deep down inside I really enjoy this.

Not only am I learning about the job, but I am learning a lot about myself. I still have things to work on such as understanding that not everyone has the same work ethic that I do. There are a lot of other things that have changed in my life. I’ll share those stories soon!

I won’t be able to share much today. I just wanted to let you all know I’m still around.

 

 

On my Own

So it’s been about a week since I’ve written a post! I’ve been taking a few days off to just continue figuring out my life and learning to appreciate myself, my situation and everything around me. I won’t lie it has been hard but there is one thing that I quite have been enjoying which is being alone.

I’ve been spending quite of a few days on my own and it’s been quite interesting. The other day, I actually called up a friend and we talked on the phone which felt really nice to do. Since I’m also quite limited with going out right now since I’m still “funemployed” (not so fun at this point though), I try to just stay home or do things that don’t require too much spending. This limitation has been quite rewarding though. I have learned a bit more about myself so I thought I’d share them with you!

 

  1. I like tea–Yep! I really like tea. There is nothing like sitting staring out a window of a coffee shop and drinking tea. I try to do this more frequently and I just write down my thoughts as I sit there. My thoughts, observations, feelings, I like to jot them down and just embrace the moment of being alone. We all knew I love tea a little too much but I’ve learned to appreciate the taste, the feelings and the comfort of tea.
  2. I know a lot. Okay, so this sounds like a humble brag but I really do know a lot. I’ve spent my whole life learning a bit about everything, so that I could be a well-rounded person which is probably also my downfall at the moment. I like and know a little too much for my own good, which doesn’t allow me to pick one thing. I have so many interests in life that I can’t seem to find my focus which has been a bit detrimental to my success. I know sometimes you really do have to pick one and go with it for a bit. I’m spending a lot of time figuring that out and I really do like where I’m heading, it’s just taking a little longer than usual.
  3. I’ve become more vocal. Even though I’m spending a lot of time on my own, whenever I’m with people, I’ve learned to be more vocal. All my quiet time on my own, allows me to really think about things before speaking them. I still suck a long conversations but I can sorta maintain my confidence in speaking. A downfall is that sometimes I’m too quiet during conversations, I let people say things that are wrong and I need to speak out more. I do enjoy listening to people more than I used to. It allows me to get to understand their thoughts and who they are based on what they say. I guess, it has also made me a bit more judge-y about who I hang with. If you’re saying racist, sexist, or anything remotely disrespectful, I prefer to not speak to you. I know that sounds bad but it’s how I roll these days.
  4. I’ve got a lot going on in my brain. I have been able to do a lot of mental digging. I have thought about my past, what caused me to stunt my own personal growth these days. I know that sounds silly but I’ve looked back at my personal traumas and I’ve been trying to pick out when and where did I change and why. I want to understand myself better and avoid repeating mistakes, avoid bad situations and especially letting go of things that really hurt me. I have a lot going on in here. I guess that’s why sometimes I can’t seem to focus. I need to air all my laundry out and get going with my life.
  5. I’m stronger than I give myself credit for. Although my family can sometimes call me the weakest, the most emotional one and that I really need to control what I cry for. I like to think I’m strong. I’m strong because I’ve endured bullying, endured almost being homeless during high school with my family, I’ve endured family health and personal health problems, I’ve made it through every panic attack, anxiety, even depression. I’m still fighting for what I deserve, what I want and I guess that makes me strong even if somedays I feel like calling it quits
  6. I can’t wait to live on my own. I actually think that once I get a job that pays well and once I start paying of some of my student debt, I will be able to manage on my own. I honestly can’t wait for that. I love my family, I love living with my parents, it really has helped take off a load but I think at some point, I decided that It’s time for me to live my own life. I will obviously spend a lot of time with them but I think it’ll help me grow a lot more being on my own.

So here are some of the self-reflecting moments I’ve had recently. I don’t know what it is but I really enjoy my downtime. For example, right now I’m alone in my room while wearing a face mask (though this will be posted tomorrow morning). I sat here feeling inspired to share with you what has been going on in my brain for the last few weeks. I know it may not seem much to some but to me, it is making all the difference to understand myself, what makes me tick, what makes me happy and what I plan to do.

Thanks for reading!