My first bucketlist

I just wanted to share that it’s such a beautiful day today! I’ve been sitting on my bed just admiring how gorgeous it is. I have had such a productive morning–I’m trying to build good habits still and just have some sort of routine. I started cleaning my room and came across a lot of my old journals. I actually found my first journal ever. It’s one of those fuzzy leopard print ones…yeah be jealous.

Anyway, I was reading through some of the entries and I actually came across my first bucket list ever. So I figured I’d share that little entry with you and talk about whether I’ve accomplished those goals and if they match up to ones I have now.

So I’m going to type it out on here rather than show a picture of it because it is quite faded. A reminder I was 13 years old when I first wrote this, and I was also experiencing my first crush and so this list was created to keep myself in check.

August 8th, 2003

“…we’d go on lots of dates, it’s so great, but it’s only in dreams, because I want to study, get a good job with chemicals working at NASA and having a Chevy Trail Blazer….I want to play the saxophone…These are my wishes and goals:

  1. become more smarter, study harder, think harder, less playing
  2. become a chemist and work at NASA–study more
  3. Get a Chevy Trailblazer with a CD player, cool lights, 7 passengers in blue–work harder, earn lots of money
  4. Buy my parents a car and house –earn and save lots of money
  5. make my parents proud
  6. make it into space
  7. When all of this is done, I’ve learned everything. I still want to be single.
  8. Go to Europe to study more

Sincerely,

Me”

I was hilarious…just kidding. Okay, so even at 13 I had this ‘work hard, study hard’ mentality. And I guess, I was always a keener. I assume that I will always be a keener. So let me break this down now. I still believe in studying hard, but I don’t believe in “playing less”. I actually do want more fun in my life, I think it helps balance out my work hard mentality, plus we deserve a break after accomplishing so many things every day.

The whole “become a chemist and work at NASA” was short lived, because shortly after I wanted to become a marine biologist, a volcanologist, seismologist, and a whole lot more. There was a trend as to why I wanted to be all of these things. I just thoroughly enjoyed research, and I believe I’m now on the right track to do just that.

I don’t want a Chevy Trailblazer anymore. I was very specific to what I wanted back then and I still am. I already have a car, but my next two shall be awesome as well. I still want a CD player in my car, btw.

Oh number four, this will always be something I want to do for my parents. They have given me so much and I hope one day, I can do just that for them. I still try to make them proud, they say they are, but I still want to do anything to continue making them proud.

Haha, space…go into space…yikes. This still might be something I wouldn’t mind doing, but I don’t know how I feel about it.

Oh number 7, this hilarious. How does a 13-year-old even say this…perhaps I was telling myself my own future. I don’t necessarily know where I stand on this on most days. Some days, I’m all I don’t want to be single, other days I’m all for the ‘single life for me is just fine’. Again, I haven’t finished accomplishing my goals, but I also don’t mind accomplishing them alongside another person. Either way still works for me. I was just talking to one of my friends the other night, and we talked about this stuff. I know I want to be self-sufficient before I can involve another person in my life. Apparently I wanted to be single forever. (LOL) SMH

Number 8 has changed. I still want to go to Europe, but to travel and explore…but I guess you can still call it learning…I’d learn so much about the culture, the history, and stuff about myself probably.

This was quite funny to look at. I’m sure I have many more bucket lists throughout every journal I own, but since this was my first one, I wanted to see how much as changed in 12 years and I guess not too much has. Well, physically things changed…if you get what I mean….but I guess my priorities have always been the same. Also, I never learned to play the saxophone…I sing, though.

I hope you enjoyed this as much as my mother and sister did.

2015 Favourites

So 2015 has come and is almost gone! This means it is time to share with you some of my favourite things– what I tried, ate, listened to, wore, etc, etc.  I’m pretty sure that I’ll miss some things or go on about other things.

Let’s get started!

Online/Social World Favourites:

Favourite Social Platform: Instagram–Why? Because I enjoy sharing moments with friends and random strangers.

Online Show: Kimmy Schmidt: Unbreakable–Why? I have no idea why. I just really love how random it was.

YouTuber: Tess Christine–I have been watching Tess since she first started way back when, but I have grown to appreciate her videos much more because who doesn’t want all her clothes and adventures. I just feel like I can relate to her a bit more than most YouTubers.

Public Figure to Follow: Erin Ireland. I was introduced to Erin through an article I read in Chatelaine and instantly became a big fan. After meeting her this year (which is also part of my 2015 favourites), I grew to respect her even more. I love how she practices what she preaches but also doesn’t force it on you. I also love watching her snaps.

Favourite Snapchatter: Erin Ireland & Jillian Harris. I love them both because they share a lot of their adventures, what they eat and what they do. They’re both awesome. I obviously couldn’t pick just one.

Favourite Blogger/Vlogger: Zoella. Hands down my favourite vlogger. Her Christmas vlogs were on point.

Favourite 2015 Movies:

Jurassic World: It was nice to relive those childhood moments.

Avengers: Age of Ultron: I like superhero movies a lot. ❤

Minions: Who doesn’t like the minions?

Documentaries:

Cowspiracy

TedTalks 

Favourite Albums:

Florence & The Machine “How Big, How Blue, How Beautiful”

James Bay “Chaos and the Calm”

Selena Gomez “Revival”

The Weeknd “Beauty behind the madness”

Justin Bieber “Purpose”

Adele “25”

Favourite Songs:

Okay, so I like music way too much to pick just one. So here are some that I couldn’t stop jamming out to this year. Here are some covers and remixes of songs (I couldn’t find some of the originals to post in here)

Other songs:

Blank Space- Taylor Swift

The Feeling- Justin Bieber ft Halsey

Heartstrings- Leighton Meester

Take your Time- Sam Hunt

On My Mind- Ellie Goulding

Can’t Stop Dancing- Becky G

The Hills- The Weeknd

Like I’m Gonna Lose you- Meghan Trainor ft John Legend

And there were a whole lot more!

Favourite Concert: FLORENCE & THE MACHINE ❤

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One of the best concerts I have ever been to. So lively, so exhilarating and moving. I don’t know how she did it but she knocked me out with her awesomeness and stage presence was through the roof.

Favourite Event: TedxSFU 2015

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A whole day listening to amazing stories, to see how people change the world by just being themselves is quite refreshing. Not only did I meet some amazing people but I also got to re-imagine myself and think about what I want to do.

Favourite Memories:

Mexico 2015 with my sister

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One of the most random, refreshing, and extremely needed trips ever to one of the most beautiful places I had ever been. I can’t wait to go back! ❤

Meeting Erin Ireland

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She’s just awesome!! ❤

Friendmas 2015

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I got to see some of my favourite people under one roof, who else wouldn’t enjoy this memory.

MarMar 2015 = MARlene & MARtha ❤

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I got to see one of my bestest take on a new adventure even if it meant her leaving me here.

Heatherween 2015 

Never had gone to a Halloween party before.

Favourite Place(s):

Los Cabos, Mexico — A gorgeous place with amazing people.

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TransCanada Trail /Burnaby Mountain — nothing says Martha’s favourite place with favourite friends and getting sweaty going up cardiac hill.

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Favourite Book(s):

Sharp Objects- Gillian Flynn: If you liked Gone Girl, you might also find this one quite utterly disturbing and interesting all at once. I couldn’t put this down while on the plane and in Mexico.

The Literary Review: A magazine filled with poems and short stories. I didn’t need to read loads of books this year because I spent a lot of time reading the Summer edition of it.

Invisible Chains: Canada’s Underground World of Human Trafficking: As someone who is extremely passionate about Human Trafficking issues, I decided to read about the issues and I learned a lot.

Favourite Beauty Products:

Baby Oil: My skin loves this stuff.

Biotherm AquaSource Deep Serum: For someone who suffers from dry skin, this was a life saver.

Rosy Lush Face Mask: I definitely need to go buy more of this!

Coconut Hair Masks/Shampoo & Conditioner: I like anything coconut really. Especially when it means it’s going to rescue my hair and scalp.

(see Beauty Favourites: Empties Review where I divulge more about each product that I really loved this year, you can also check out Lush Face Mask Review: Rosy Cheeks for my favourite face mask)

Vichy Ideal Soleil After Sun SOS Balm: I came back super sunburnt from Mexico, this lotion really helped my skin heal faster.

I didn’t have any favourite lipbalms, lipsticks or mascara’s this year. I just couldn’t find one that I really needed to have. I have tonnes of red lipsticks and they’re all from NYX Cosmetics so I guess that whole brand of lipsticks is my favourite.

Foundation: Lise Watier Tient Lift Anti-Rides SPF 20 ❤ I loved this foundation till the lost drop. It not only had nice coverage but also felt good on the skin. I think I sort of found it’s drugstore dupe which is CoverGirl TruBlend Liquid Foundation in M7.

Perfume: My Burberry. This to me smells like what I imagine being a young woman off to work should smell like. Does that even make sense? I just love it.

And this my list of what I really loved this year. I’m 100% sure I missed a lot of good stuff but 2015 had a lot of good stuff. Oh yeah, like I GRADUATED! One of the best things to have happened to me this year. ❤

 

Bye 2015! ❤

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Abuela 

I was 7 years old when we lost you. I remember that dad had gone back home to see if there was anything else he could do. I remember crying a great deal. I saw how sad everyone was and so I became sad. I loved you and still do. I never knew someone could love me as much without ever holding me or seeing me in person. But I knew you loved me because you’d call every birthday, or just to see how we were all doing. They say I look like you. And I don’t mind for the stories I hear about how sweet and kind you were make me proud. You saw the good in everyone. I’m proud to be named after you. I carry a great responsibility and I try to make you proud. I’ll never know what it’s like to be comforted by you, to go shopping with you or go for tea. I won’t know what it’s like to sleepover your house on the weekends. Or to see you during the holidays. I know that you’d be proud of dad and all of his accomplishments. I know you’d tell mom to make sure he stayed levelled. You’d make sure we’d be happy and okay. I miss you everyday. I sometimes get jealous of what others have because I wish I could have had that. Sometimes I’m angry at the world for not allowing me the privilege but then I’m at peace because you’re always on my mind. I miss you even though I never met you. When I see your photograph, all I can do is imagine. 

Abuelo

I was sitting on my bed when I first received news. This is the kind of news no one wants to receive ever. There was a gentle knock on my door. You could hear the quiet breathing from behind the door, trying to gain composure, trying to look brave and seem okay. I never met him personally. I never got to be wrapped around in his arms, I never got to know what it would feel like to sit on his lap during the holidays. But I knew his voice, I knew his face and all the stories in the words of my father. I knew that he wasn’t always the best, that he was harsh, that he was hurtful but I still wanted that chance. I see his face when I look at my father. I don’t see who he was but what he could have been. I may never know what it will feel like to have known him, to have heard the stories of my greats, about futbol and politics. All I know is that he gave me my father. And for that, I’ll always love him too.

Conversations with myself

Sometimes I do get restless and other times I feel secured.

11 different schools and many different homes,

unpacked boxes filing storage, just in case we’d have to go again.

There were new faces, new names and then there was me.

I remained unchanged. Curious, Skeptical, Unsure.

I got used to being a drifter. I never got attached to anything or anyone.

It’s been 6 years and here I am, same old place, same old people.

I’m feeling a little restless, but you’re the only thing that makes sense.

I want roots like you do, a history, not small little memories of what used to be

where I used to be and how I used to be.

Sometimes I do feel restless thinking about how much I want this.

I remain unchanged. I’m still curious, still skeptical and still unsure.

I have boxes, just in case that we get caught in that whirlwind all over again.