2017: The year of doing 

Everyone’s writing their resolutions or have set plans for this year. One of my friends asked me what my resolutions were for this year, I didn’t even know how to answer. I figured my year would be like any year. Try and travel, try and go on more adventures, try something new. I realized, I’m a trier but rarely a do-er. 

I want to save up but never do. I want to travel but never plan a trip. I want to go on adventures but find myself watching Netflix or reading. This year, I want it to be different.

I want to be financially responsible while paying off debt, I still want to manage having some fun. It’s going to take work and a lot of self-control. I will have to figure out what to give up on…maybe Starbucks…who am I kidding? It’ll probably be giving up buying clothes, lipstick and shoes. I need my Starbucks. 

This year, I want to invest in myself, my mental health by taking breaks. Seeing the world and not let debt take over my life. I want to be so refreshed so that next year I’m ready to tackle the biggest but most exciting event of my life.

I have a four month plan to pay off a certain amount of debt but also save up for a trip to Nicaragua. I hope that sharing this with you, it makes me accountable, plus it would be kickass to write about it in the near future. 

I will begin fully studying for the LSAT. I will save up to volunteer abroad. I just want to build a life, I’m proud of. All these things on my bucket list and I haven’t managed to cross any off in awhile because I’ve been so scared of fully committing. 

I guess I’ll keep you updated. And if any of you have any financial or tips on how to conquer this, please leave me a comment! 

Month One

I know it has been awhile since I have written a personal post, so here I am.
I just wanted to let you know how I’m doing.

Surviving the first month

One month down and only six more to go. It’s surprising how time flies. One day, I’m struggling to purchase my books, and now I’m getting ready for midterms. I’m not only able to apply the things I have learned from my degree in my courses but also the studying skills that I learned in my last year at SFU. I’ve learned to study better which has helped my succeed in my first month. I’m happy with this decision because I am closer to achieving a goal. I am not only learning about my future job, but I am also learning a lot about myself. It’s weird, yet satisfying to see yourself grow as an individual. I have seen myself grow in the areas of communication. I’m not afraid to raise my hand, to answer a question, even if I may be wrong. When I’m wrong, I know I can count on someone to teach me the right way or explain to me how I can do it better.

I do not want to make surviving sound negative because this program is not a challenge at all. Something cannot be bad for you when you love it (right?). I love what I am going to do in a few short months and where this job will take me. I will not deny that I prefer some classes over others, but that doesn’t make the experience less enjoyable. I have made two great friends in my class, both who have the same work ethic as me, who are funny and understanding. They make the experience enjoyable. We get annoyed at the same things, we find certain things hilarious that others might not get, and we are 100% focused on what we want out of this. This makes make me happy, but also, stay focused. Having them in my support/study group makes this program better.

 

 

I just wanted to say that I’m doing well.

See you in month two!

 

 

 

“New Year, New Me”

It’s 2016 and with that, a lot of changes and new adventures. There’s a reason as to why, I decided to write this morning. I was scrolling through my Instagram feed and there it was, people already judging others for their new years resolutions, mocking their “new year, new me” aspirations. Why would anyone mock others for the goals that they have?

I decided that I wanted to write about this. It is quite common for people to make new year resolutions. I think about 95% of the population does it (I’m just making numbers up here, but if you want some more “real” numbers, check this page out New Years Resolution Statistics). It’s nice to have goals, to plan what you want out of the year.

I’m not being sensitive I just wanted to share my opinion on it. I know that trolls exist on the internet, but when I always see friends posting memes, captions or statuses mocking or ridiculing the idea of resolutions. I think you’re an asshole. And I learned not to go to you to discuss my goals and dreams. I know some people might forget about their resolutions after January or maybe they just decided not to discuss it with you anymore.

Some people can’t achieve their resolutions in one year. It can take a week, a month, a year or more than that. Personally, I’m always goal planning because I like having goals. I like achieving them but the reality is, sometimes it’s not possible. Sometimes goals or priorities change because life happens. Sometimes you realize you can’t achieve it in a year, so it makes your list every year. There is nothing wrong with that. You might realize that’s not what you wanted anymore. Or you realize it will definitely take longer than expected. Or maybe they had no one supporting their resolutions, so they just gave up.

The point of this post was to say this, don’t be an asshole in the new year. Instead, be supportive of your friends with goals. If they want to lose weight, help them reach those goals, go to the gym with them. If they want to travel, share your experiences of different places you have been to. If someone is looking for this year to start fresh, encourage it. Don’t be that negativity in someone’s life.

100

I finally have 100 followers. I can’t believe it. I can now cross this off my bucket list. I wanted to share my excitement with all of you because this blog means so much to me.

This space allows me to express myself, to relieve myself of stress, to share my personal experiences and stories, so thank you for allowing me to do that.

So I wanted to answer 100 things and share them with you.

1. What is your name? Martha E.
2. How old are you? 24
3. Are you sure? Yeah, I am.
4. What is your earliest memory? driving my little tikes coupe in the backyard.
5. What is your favorite alcoholic drink? White Wine
6. What is your favorite vegetable? Potatoes
7. Do you remember your first day at school? Yes, I was so excited.
8. What is the worst exam result you remember ever getting? D-
9. How tall are you? 5 feet tall.
10. Can you swim? I guess you can call it swimming.
11. Who is your favorite movie actress? Emily Blunt

12. Who is your favorite movie actor? Robert Downey Jr.

13. Who is your favorite comedian? Robin Williams
14. Who is your favorite politician? I don’t think I have one yet.
15. Who is your favorite historical figure (been dead for at least 100 years)?  Sacagawea
16. Who is your favorite super-heroine? Hit Girl, she’s a badass.
17. Who is your favorite super-hero? Superman<3
18. Can you name a female scientist other than Madame Curie? Jane Goodall
19. Who is your favorite mythological god or goddess? Athena

20. Who is your favorite woman of all time? My mom.
21. Do you agree with “An eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth”? Sometimes I do, Sometimes I don’t.
22. Do you agree with “Life does not forgive weakness”? No, not at all.
23. Do you agree with “It is the enemy who can truly teach us to practice the virtues of compassion and tolerance”? I guess. I mean, anyone can really teach us that.
24. Do you agree with “The state can do what they want to do”? No, oh heck no.
25. Do you agree with “If I had to choose between betraying my country and betraying my friend, I hope I should have the guts to betray my country”? WOAH, why do we have to betray???

26. Do you agree with “If the path be beautiful, let us not ask where it leads”? I might. I’m a sucker for a beautiful path.
27. Do you agree with “Crime is a product of social excess”? Most of the time. I could get really into this.
28. Do you agree with “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you”? Yes
29. Do you agree with “And mankind is naught but a single nation”? Yes
30. Do you agree with “Bulimia is soooo ’87”? WTF, who came up with this question? This is so disrespectful.
31. What is the worst movie you have ever seen? Cloverfield, never again.
32. What is the worst TV show you have ever seen? I don’t know.
33. What is the worst book you have ever read? Yikes, probably Twilight.
34. What is the worst song you have ever heard? A few of them, I could be here for days sharing them with you.
35. What is the worst sport you know of? Basketball. I think. I don’t know. I just don’t get it.
36. Who is the worst movie “star” ever? Dakota Johnson
37. Who is the worst comedian ever? I don’t know too many of those.

38. Who is the worst author ever? E.L James

39. Who is the worst musical act ever? I’d say Miley. She’s just not my favourite.
40. Who is the worst sports “star” you have ever seen?  I don’t know too much about sports to pick one.
41. If you could go back in time to witness an historical event in person, what event would you want to see? Join Joan of Arc
42. If you could go anywhere in the world right now, where would you go? Australia
43. If you could meet anyone in the world, who would you meet? Margaret Atwood
44. If you could become famous for one thing, what would that thing be? my book on epic one liners.
45. If you could buy anything regardless of cost, what would you buy? a house for my parents.
46. If you could change any one thing about your country, what would it be? Lower the cost of tuition for students.

47. If you could change any one thing about international politics, what would it be? I would ratify laws on human trafficking, in order to make it easier to capture and prosecute them.
48. If you could meet any famous person who is dead, who would it be? Jane Austen
49. If you could become dictator of the world, would you? Yeah, I’d be a nice dictator.
50. If you could eat an entire cow at one sitting, would you? No thats disgusting.
51. Have you ever illegally downloaded music/TV shows/movies from the net?  In highschool.
52. Have you ever used illegal narcotics (yes, even pot counts if it was illegal at the time)? Nope!
53. Have you ever gotten any points on your driving license? Nope.
54. Have you ever stolen anything from a shop? Yes, when I was five.
55. Have you ever bought alcohol or cigarettes while underage? Nope.

56. Have you ever bought alcohol or cigarettes for another person who was underage? Nope. I’m no rule breaker.
57. Have you ever tried to cheat the taxman/social security/other government agency? Nope.

58. Have you ever ridden on a train or bus without paying? Almost.
59. Have you ever been arrested? No
60. Have you ever been charged with a crime ? Nope.
61. What’s the furthest you’ve ever been from home? Mexicoo!!
62. Where have you visited that you would like to go back to? Mexico!!!!
63. Where would you like to visit that you haven’t yet? Hawaii. Australia, Peru,
64. Where is your favorite place in the world? Paris
65. Where have you visited that you hope never to go to again? Don’t have a place yet.
66. Where would you definitely never go to? I don’t know, probably a place where I wouldnt be allowed to go.
67. Where is your least favorite place in the world? I don’t know yet.
68. What is your favorite way to travel ? Reading.
69. What is your least favorite way to travel? Transit
70. What is the capital of Assyria? Nineveh or Assur
71. What was the last movie you saw? Elf
72. Was it any good? Yes.
73. What was the last book you read? Canada’s underground world of human trafficking.
74. Was it any good? Really good.
75. What was the last song you listened to? “Santa Claus is coming to town”
76. Was it any good? Yes, I love how Zooey D sings!
77. What was the last computer game you played? I don’t play computer games.
78. Did you do well? I guess not.
79. What was the last meal you ate? Nanaicecream with dates.

80. Was it any good? yes, but cold.
81. Do you believe in God/Goddess/Gods/Goddesses? I believe in God.
82. Do you agree with the war in Iraq? No.
83. Do you believe in aliens? No.
84. Do you agree with the theory of evolution? Yes, I believe in it.

85. Do you believe in reincarnation? No.
86. Do you agree with the idea of the UN? I like the idea of it. I don’t know sometimes though.

87. Do you believe in karma? Yes

88. Do you agree with the theories of man-induced global warming? Yes

89. Do you believe in democracy above all other systems of government? I believe in whatever works for each country. I don’t believe in forced systems that’s for sure.
90. Do you agree with Freddie Mercury when he sings “Fat-bottomed girls you make the rockin’ world go round”? Uhm, I’ve never heard this song.
91. What is your favorite movie? Legally Blonde
92. What is your favorite book? The Shadow of the Wind
93. What is your favorite song? Lego House by Ed Sheeran
94. What is your favorite city? Paris, France
95. What is your favorite sport? Hockey!!!!
96. What is your favorite place in the world? Whistler
97. Are you glad these questions are almost over? Yeah!
98. What are you going to do next? Make sure I didn’t miss any.
99. Do you anticipate this activity being fun? Not really.
100. Give us a quote to end on…Life your life the way you choose to. (I don’t know who said it, I think I might have or my fortune cookie)

24

So this year, I have been on quite the journey. It has been a really intense journey and the year isn’t even up yet but I feel like I can share this with you now.
This year I have seen myself walk across the stage and earn my criminology degree, I have finally looked in the mirror and respected and valued what I saw. I also have seen failure and moments of doubt–I have had a growing experience.

I have faced quite a few personal obstacles such as financial problems, self-doubt and a bit of depression. You might think I’m being dramatic but I’m not. Of course, I know that I still have been better off than some people who clearly don’t have a roof over their heads, food on their tables and a permanent support system. I didn’t face that this year but I have in the past.

But because I haven’t faced any of it this year doesn’t mean it hasn’t crossed my mind. I was afraid this year, afraid of just being a complete failure, of not finding my way back to where I once was. I was completely shattered with all those rejection letters, I really thought I wouldn’t get out of the slump. Until someone told me, it was only temporary as long as I kept trying.

This year, I see it as a major adventure. Not only did I have really bad moments but I also had really good ones. I’ve seen my favourite bands in concert, I have gone to Mexico, I learned that all these skills that I have I can use–I don’t have to pick just one.

The most important thing I have learned is to love myself. I learned to love myself by looking at all the things I learned this year, by my failures and success, from what I lost to what I gained.

I may have not handled myself well in the past and sometimes I can still be bratty and irritable when I don’t get my way but it doesn’t last that long. I get over it. This year I learned patience. I learned that you CAN have it all, you just have to work hard and it will come. I learned that even when others are giving you their options, you don’t have to take it. It’s your life and you choose the way you want to live it.

I was reunited with an old dream. I’ve been accepted back into school, I will be studying to be an LAA (legal administrative assistant) and then hope to become a paralegal. Right now, I’m focusing on the LAA program. My problem in the past is I over planned and under accomplished. I spent so much time planning for the future that I didn’t focus on the present. I don’t want to do that again.

I’ve been reunited with my confidence–I had lost my passion for clothes, makeup, making singing videos and just smiling and having no shame in anything that I do.

These days I find myself smiling at myself when I look in the mirror, I like who I am. I’m proud of what I have endured in my 24 years. I see my potential, I see who I am and where I am going. I feel re-aligned and reassured that my future is what I want it to be because of what I’m currently doing.

I love who I surround myself with. I love seeing my family and friends grow as individuals. I don’t get all jealous when my friends are succeeding rather I am the happiest person. I love seeing them become successful, finding love, finding their dream job, travelling, growing, etc. I have friends who get me, who tell it like it is, who make me laugh, who make me continue my dreams. They let me be me.

I’m not giving up on my dreams, I’m not giving up the fight. I love myself enough to continue fighting for what I dreamed of as a little kid. I’ve got this because its love.

I don’t know what these next two months have left in store for me but I honestly accept the challenge. I accept it and I am ready to take it on. I’m ready for that job, ready for that “I survived” moment, I’m just ready.