Every single time I write

Every single time I write to you.

I feel so exposed.

I’m sharing a piece of me with you.

I let you see my weaknesses, my strengths

what makes me tick and what makes me smile.

I feel so exposed but so content.

All that I had bottled up inside

is now being aired out.

I let you read my mind,

I let you in.

Every single time that I write.

I feel vulnerable.

I’m afraid that you’ll hold it against me.

Every single time,

I feel so exposed

like you won’t want me.

I feel like you knowing every bit about me,

will either make you want to run

but I hope it makes you want to stay.

Every single time I write.

International Day of Peace

It’s International Day of Peace!

In a world filled with chaos, stories filling up our news feeds and timelines about devastation, political conflicts and unrest, sometimes we forget that there is more good in the world than “evil”. These issues do have an impact on how we see the world, how we see people and sometimes how we ourselves behave. So I’ve decided to write about one of the most important things that a person needs in their life–Internal Peace. As mentioned, external issues can have an impact and can disrupt our internal peace system. I don’t know the statistics quite well but I know that there are a lot of people with anxiety issues, panic attacks, phobias, etc. These can cause a sense of unease, restlessness and discomfort. External factors can play a major role in how we feel, Of course, it is important to care about the issues and to be passionate about a cause but you also have to make sure that it does not consume you.

Peace within yourself is important because it will allow you to see things from a  different perspective, less anger means more clarity, less frustration means more positive outlooks and vibes. I know what I’m writing is pretty straightforward but sometimes we forget to just be in peace. So I’ve decided to write a few tips on how you might be able to have peace or find peace, if you haven’t already. Finding internal peace sometimes doesn’t happen over night or sometimes it takes an epiphany, sometimes it just happens. Here are somethings that might help, let your internal peace shine and share that with the world, we all know we need more of it.

  • Take a trip/Travel:

I know we all can’t travel all the time but this is something I learned recently, you don’t have to go abroad to find peace, sometimes all you need is a few days in another part of your city or province/state. While I was in Mexico for a week, I learned to relax which is quite rare for me, thus I felt at peace. I wasn’t in my same spot, I felt happier, I felt whole, I was able to think freely and without congestion of what was happening around me because I was having a good time and our resort had no WiFi. I learned that embracing other cultures, other beliefs, other opinions allowed me to think in a different way and let me feel peaceful. Even being on the plane and seeing the earth from the sky made me feel such peace and ease because I allowed myself to be taken by the beauty. I now understand why people spend their whole lives travelling.

  • Read a Book/Listen to Music: 

Okay, I know some of us are not readers but there are a lot of amazing books out there on peace, finding yourself, empathy, etc. There are also a lot of books that make you feel. Sometimes in order to feel peace, you must feel emotions that get you to that moment. I know that sounds crazy but have you ever listened to a song and it made you cry, laugh and literally you went through your mind with so many different emotions and then when it was over, you felt so good. It’s all you need. If books aren’t your thing, then try music. I can suggest a few books that made me feel good, some are just different and the story takes you to this sense of awareness, sense of self, sense of what others can go through. I know you might find some weird or quite odd but these are books that have made me feel peaceful after reading them. I will also list some songs that have inspired me or made me feel so peaceful.

“The Opposite of Loneliness” by Marina Keegan

“Little Women” by Louisa May Alcott

“Love Song” By Alex Miller

“How to be Parisian wherever you are: Love, Style & Bad Habits” by Anne Berest, Audrey Diwan, Caroline De Maigret, & Sophie Mas

I hope you enjoy all of these or some of these! Let me know what your experience is after listening or reading these!

  • Social Media Detox

Sometimes you just need to block everything. I know that in a world where something is always happening, you want to stay on top and in touch with it all. It’s important I get that but sometimes it can be disruptive to your mind and soul. So I say take a break from social media and focus on you. It’ll help heal a lot of things that have been bothering you.

  • Write

You know me, I write a lot. I have loads of journals, sometimes you just need to vent and write it out. I know not all of us can write but you can draw it out too.

  • Work Out

Okay, so you might think this one is weird but working out has led me to become quite confident because it requires discipline, focusing on breathing and understanding and listening to your body, I believe I’m at peace when I work out because I’m focused on myself and I shut out everything. I also believe that confidence is a benefit from being at peace with yourself.

  • Yoga & Breathing

So this one is tied in with working out but even though I’m not good at yoga, It has also helped me understand myself and those 15 minutes I do yoga, I feel so peaceful.

  • Have Fun

Don’t work too hard, don’t stress yourself out. I am now an advocate for having fun. Of course, you need down time but having fun in healthy ways can really balance you out. Balance is an important part of being peaceful inside.

There are a lot of other ways to find internal peace, some choose a belief, religion, music, food, meditation, etc. Just find what works for you. When you find peace within yourself, your light will shine and when your light shines, it touches people.

Let’s find peace! Also, if you ever need someone to talk to, feel free to leave me a message! When you feel like you’re going through a really tough time, you just need someone to listen or to read what you have to say and just be there but don’t want to go to people we know, you have me–I will not judge you, harass you or make you feel any worse, that’s my promise.

The tower

I always thought I’d be trapped in my tower for years to come,

I had managed to escape a few times, managed to roam free.

Each time I left, I had felt like a bird soaring through the skies

as high as a cloud, loved like a flower in the spring.

But each time I escaped there was always a chain pulling me back,

that freedom I felt didn’t last as long as I wanted it to.

You can still see my hand prints from being dragged into the ground,

pulled farther and farther away from what I wanted. I’m writing to you now

from my tower, this is my plea. I need to find a way out again and never have to come

back unless I choose to. That is all I want, my choice to be my own.

I want to come back to my tower because I feel like it.

My tower is a safe haven when it wants to be, but lately it feels like a room filled with

thorns and fear is hidden amongst its dark corners.

I wear a veil of sadness over my soul, my heart is in constant pain,

my mind goes over and over the same old stories, reliving moments that I have enjoyed.

Pain can be wonderful until it consumes your every fibre of being.

This is my tower, a wondrous place filled with many memories that cause delicious and

torturous pain.

They say you choose the life you live but sometimes its been chosen for you, mine has to

be living in my tower until I find the courage to break free once again.

Building Skills and Using them. 

Although I still have not received a call back from any of the places I’ve applied to, I still haven’t lost hope. Also, just because I’m still unemployed that doesn’t mean I’m jobless. Confused?

What I mean by that is that I haven’t started my career but there are other things that I am doing. Sometimes a few of us forget that we have a few diplomas and degrees on the wall and that we can put any of them to use. Sometimes we solely focus on one and forget that we have so much to offer.

Lately, I’ve been putting skills that I learned from elementary, high school, college and university to use in order to continue developing my career path. I want to be able to say that I kept learning and using these skills that I had put on a shelf. We all have so much to offer, if you say you lack skills, I say you don’t. Someone once told me that she did so many different things because she loved it all and wanted to try them before finally finding the job she wanted to stick with. She put to use all her skills and now uses everything she learned in that one job. It didn’t mean she was indecisive she was expanding her knowledge, her skill set and her life.

We all have different skills that we have picked up since we were kids. Some of us know how to bake quite well, cook, sew, knit, edit, write, sing, dance, etc, etc. So why not put them to use? You might think it’s silly but if you feel like you’re having no luck with finding a job with that degree you just earned then perhaps it’s time you use other skills you have.

Do your friends tell you that you take good photos? Why not start taking photos at a charge and make some money. You know how to knit extremely well? Why not sell some pieces next time at your local craft fair. You grow nice vegetables? Make jams, bake cookies? Theres a farmers market almost every weekend. Yes, some skills you have wont always lead to you getting money but they’ll get you another kind of value.

The value of learning, expanding, growing, getting your name out there. It’ll allow you to bring more than one thing to the table at an interview; it’ll show that you have all these skills that you actually put to use. Or you might end up starting a business all on your own. I’ve read stories of people who worked as lawyers and stopped in order to pursue music. Journalists who decided to start a restaurant. You get the idea.

If you do feel like you lack skills then why not start learning. There are so many ways to do this.

  • You can volunteer. I think volunteering is one of the biggest door openers because if you stay at a place for quite some time, they’ll know you, trust you and know what you’re capable of and perhaps when a paid opportunity comes along, you’ll be considered or hired.
  • Take a course. You don’t have to take a full load of courses. Just pick one. For example, there are a lot of open learning courses online. I decided that I want to learn more about Forensic psychology and although I won’t get any credit for it. I can still add it to my list of things I studied on my own time.
  • Teach yourself something new. This ties in with the point above and below. It doesn’t always have to be academic. You can learn to draw, take photos, cook, music, teach yourself a new language.
  •  Go back to school and upgrade. For adults, there are tons of upgrading courses (even though there have been budget cuts in our part of the world…which is dumb and awful). Upgrade whatever you think will benefit you.
  • Get Certified. I know a lot of things cost money and it sucks. I think of it as investing in myself. I ask myself “If I do this, will I benefit from it” and usually the answer is yes. So go get certified in First Aid, Lifeguard, FoodSafe and what ever else is out there.

Sometimes I think that my skills are not transferable to the job that I want or that I won’t get hired because there is no proof that I actually know how to do a certain task. For example, I applied to a program that needs proof of two year experience in computer use, basic MS software knowledge and that I know how to type. I found it ridiculous that even though I’ve been a student basically my whole life, they need a letter saying I have this skill set. I had reference letters and they still weren’t happy with it, so now they want me to pay for a test to prove that I can type. It was upsetting but I want to get into this program so I have to obviously find a way to prove that I can. Sometimes there will be bumps in the road like this but when you want something you have to do what it takes.

In an older post, I mentioned that there is a difference between having a degree and being educated. Some people just go to school to get a degree while others go to get an education. These are two different things. I say take advantage of all the things you’ve learned, put them to use, build your skill set and open more doors for yourself that you didn’t think you could. You’ll also learn what you love, what you don’t, what you’re not good at and what you excel in. Life is a big experiment.

Some people know what they’re going to do right from the start, others get their dream job right from the start, while others have to use all their artillery in different battles until they get to the one.

The Unemployment Workout.

Yep, you read the title right. I’ve been sitting around trying to figure out how to release stress and embedded frustration from receiving multiple employment rejection letters. At first, I had the idea to start some sort of drinking game but that really could end badly. I mean, I was thinking about having a shot every time I receive a rejection letter but I think that would just make me a daily drinker and I don’t think my liver or body would appreciate that.

So I decided to opt for a healthier alternative. My logic behind this was to let go of that disappointment and frustration through working out. I actually do that on a daily basis now, since I’m trying to maintain a healthier lifestyle but when I get sad about not getting a job, I sometimes get side-tracked, let the emotions take hold and I find myself stuffing pizza, chocolate, candy, iced-tea, cake, etc. into this mouth of mine. So here it goes.

1. Every cover letter you write in a day= Skipping for 60 seconds.

2. For every resume you send out= 10 pushups.

3. For every email you send out= 15 lunges (each side)

4. For every rejection letter you receive= 50 jumping jacks

5. For every time you doubt yourself and your skills= 1 minute plank

6. For every hand cramp= full body stretch (hold for 40 seconds each)

7. For every phone interview= 20 crunches (3 sets)

8. For every group interview= 20 sit-ups (3 sets)

9. For every second interview= 10 spiderman climbs

10. For when you get the job= you’ll be super fit and you can celebrate with buying new clothes, new shoes, a fancy dinner, celebrate with your family, friends, even your cat. Do what you do to celebrate the long hours you spent perfecting your resume, finding the right words to say in your cover letter, for being confident and walking into that interview.

Repeat as necessary. Remember find ways to let go of frustration, working out is a great way to boost energy levels, confidence, memory and well, you’ll feel better with all those endorphins. I just thought it would be fun to do something a little different.