Sometimes writing in your private personal journal isn’t quite enough.
Sometimes hanging around your house and seeing everyone else live their life isn’t either.
For many years, I was the girl who just focused on school and not having fun.
I would put off having fun because I told myself I would have fun once I was done learning. The problem with that is–well, you are only learning one thing and there are other important things in life that require you to go outside and learn. I’ve been known for just being book smart, and no, I am not giving myself praises. I just study really hard. The point is I hadn’t learned much of the outside world or more about myself until I started living in it. It’s not like I go out all the time because as a full-time student, it is hard to go out and have fun, all the time. There are some people who are great at doing both, I am not. I can hideaway in my house or the library for days, you’d have to send out a search party for me. I get into the zone and it can get to the point where I neglect communicating with others or even taking care of myself. I learned taking a break, going out even for half a day can really help you from either having a breakdown or just not learning for your class.
Anyways, let me tell you a bit about me. I’m an anti-social extrovert. It’s a thing! I moved around a lot as a kid so getting attached or comfortable around people wasn’t something I was very good at. As I got older, we were stable in our situations but I would go overboard in the attachment department. I’m 23 now and I don’t get attached easily but I’m comfortable with my small group of friends. I didn’t learn proper social skills until after my life had settled down and by that point I was too focused on school to even make family and friends a priority. It was horrible and selfish. I’ve learned to manage it a little better. Spending so much time away from friends, brought some closer to me, even if they do live in Florida or Australia. I knew those who made the time for me where those I had to make time for. They were the ones being supportive and understanding. Those are the people I still keep around.
Relationships, I used to cringe at the word. I told myself, I would never date, but they are adventures as well. I’ve dated twice in my life and well, although they did not have amazing results as I had hoped. I learned to live my life. I didn’t start living my current life until after a really bad break up. It took that relationship to snap me out of my funk. I did not want to live a limited life, to pass up amazing opportunities because of this weird fear of getting hurt or because someone was telling me how to live MY life. The most important thing it taught me was in order to love someone, you must love yourself first. Don’t be in a relationship because you feel alone or because you like the title. Be in one because you feel complete enough to share that with someone else. Love is an adventure and you have to share it with someone who may not be on the same page but is reading the same book (I hope this makes sense). No one is perfect but one day, this adventure will begin for all of us.
The future used to give me anxiety, I still get anxiety and feel overworked all the time but I have learned to take the time to enjoy life. The future is an unknown adventure. It is okay to plan for it but it is important that things change along the way and what we wanted for ourselves may change. For example, I wanted to be a fashion designer for the longest time, It is now just a hobby. I am now hoping to be a lawyer but my path could change. I love what I am majoring in (Criminology) and I know I will be happy with whatever I do in this field. Each day is an adventure and your passion may one day be something you might not want to do or something you never expected will be what you will always do.
In the past year, I have learned to balance my academic goals with my personal goals which can sometimes meet in the middle. My mental state is clearer (with a few mini meltdowns, here and there), my confidence is actually booming, the relationship with my family and friends is better. I just feel great.
So what I’m saying is if you feel like you don’t have time for anything, just remember this (& yes, it is a bible quote and it might offend some of you, I apologize but this is something that I have learned to grasp), there is time for you to do anything and especially to go for random adventures. Random adventures help you find out more about yourself, how you handle yourself, what makes you tick and what makes you smile. Adventures can range from reading a book, going for a walk with your dog, going to a fashion show with your friend, going to concerts with your best friend, making something new in the kitchen, or even learning a new instrument.
Just remember take time and go on a small adventure.
Ecclesiastes 3 New International Version (NIV)
A Time for Everything
3 There is a time for everything,
and a season for every activity under the heavens
& with that I leave you.