Drunken thoughts.

It was the little things about you.

The little things we used to do.

They’re gone now.

Everything we do now, it feels forced.

I want to tell you that I love you.

I just can’t seem to let the world slip out of my mouth.

I want you to know. I really do. Even now, as I drink.

The sweet taste becomes a burn. I think about how I am not important to you.

How it seems like I never was….How it seems like I was just a temporary replacement.

It was the little things.

It was the longing stares.

It was the deep conversations about where we wanted to go and who we wanted to be.

I want to tell you that after all this time. I still feel some sort of way.

But what will that even do?

It’s not going to change anything. No matter how much I wish it to be.

 

 

 

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Tell me

If only being so blatantly honest was easy. I would straight up tell you that I love you. I would tell you that you make everything better and you’re one of the reasons I smile. I keep myself up at all hours just waiting to talk to you. Distance isn’t our friend. Distance and time are our worst enemy. You’re there, I’m here. You were here but you were with her. It makes no sense. You’re my friend. We’re going to go on adventures together. I look forward to that. But tell me, what are we?

It’s real

I’m not one to say it out loud.
I’ll write it down.
I’ll pretend.
I’ll runaway.

Because once I know that when the words leave my mouth,
it’ll be real,
I’ve exposed what I want,
What I’m feeling.
Once they leave, it’s out there.
It can be used against me,
it can be meant for me,
You never know.

Once the words left my mouth,
I knew that everything would change.
Once someone heard what I have said,
it changed me, it changed them,
it changed what we could be.

It’s real now.
It’s terrifying,
It’s thrilling,
It’s tempting,
It’s still real.

Once I said it out loud,
I knew that I couldn’t take it back.
I just knew that what ever happens now,
will leave us all different.
I’m shaking with a bit of hope.
Let’s see where this takes us now.