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Where I’m At

You think I may have forgotten about blogging, but in all honesty, I just haven’t had any time. I’m that friend who says we should hang out, but never actually makes it out. That is my life right now.

I have been working Monday to Friday, I am taking two online classes (oh, right, I should mention that I’m enrolled in the Paralegal program…) and I am training for a 10k run.

The year has just started and I’m pretty swamped. At least, that’s how I’ve been feeling. I’m sure I’m handling it better that it feels half of the time. Do you ever just feel like there’s not enough time in a day to get through everything you need to? Sometimes I wish there were two of me, but then that is also weird and probably freak a lot of people out.

I wish I had more time for writing, or at least actually put more effort into writing. I wish I had a lot more time to do other things. I haven’t baked or done any crafting in so long. I miss doing some of my things. I hope things slow down soon, so I can do more things I enjoy.

I went out today for some personal time off. It was nice and sunny, although Vancouver is still pretty cold, it was fantastic. My sister and I explored the Tsawwassen area and found a cute little area to watch the ferries come and go.

https://www.instagram.com/p/BfFKOgzFN_T/?taken-by=marthaeelenaa

I hope to write some more things soon. I have to go study for a final now.

xoxo

Posted on

It’s been awhile.

Hey,

So I have not been posting anything. I just wanted to share where I’m at and how I’m feeling. It has been a crazy term, I’ve been doing so well and keeping busy. But, because I have been so busy, I haven’t had time to realize how I’m feeling.

So today, I ended up with anxiety. Anxiety is the worst thing ever, it just shows up when it wants to and you do every possible thing to ensure no one sees you’re about to break down. I thought that if I stayed in class, it would force me to be okay. Unfortunately, I ended up feeling suffocated, I could feel that weird gnawing feeling rise up from the pit of my stomach and it got stuck right at my chest. I wanted to scream. I wanted to cry, but I didn’t want anyone to know or see. I had mentioned it to two friends, they knew. I got up and made it to the ladies’ room. I tried to ground myself, I tried to focus on my breathing, I just couldn’t control it.

I know what triggered it. I tried to avoid it from getting worse, but I still ended up in tears.

Everyone assumes I’m always put together and that I could “never” have this because of my work ethic, or because of how happy I am, but I do.

I had one of those days. I’m exhausted. I slept it off and I’ll be ready for a brand new day.

 

❤