So I’m writing this to you while I sip on my raspberry mint lemonade, I got lost in my thoughts and decided to share.
If you’ve read many of my posts, they’ve all been filled with regret, with sadness and perhaps with a bit of disappointment in myself. You all know that I haven’t been happy with who I have been and with all the things I missed out on. So I decided to think about how I got here and what led me to be in this position. And it all comes down to one thing, inexperience.
I went through a lot in my childhood, I went to 11 different schools, personal trauma that you couldn’t even think of. Yes, there was a lot of instability in my life and perhaps I tried really hard to ensure that nothing I did now was far from unstable but here I am, writing to you about how nothing seems to feel right. I’m inexperienced at life. You could say “no one is ever really ready for life” and I may agree with that but to some degree, I blame myself.
I can handle pressure, I can handle stress, I can handle change but I’m still not ready for things. I get anxiety at the thought of being an adult, responibilities. I blame myself for not standing my ground, I should have done more things when I was younger. I have been so dependant of my parents, I let them take care of me, they want to and it has been great but at the same time, I feel like I’ve held back.
I don’t know how a lot of things work. I feel embarrassed to say this but I know, all of you, who read this, won’t judge me. You provide guidance and comments that help. I’m trying so hard to be independent but I keep making mistakes. I keep falling on my face. I pick myself up but I keep facing obstacles and I’ll try really hard to do it on my own but I just keep messing up. I don’t want to disappoint my parents. I’ve been careful my whole life, but when it comes to the real world. I know nothing. I’m smart. I’ve been so focused on my academics, I forgot about real world skills.
I’m not talking about cooking, cleaning and all of that but more of making sure I don’t get sucked into an awful job, walking with confidence, talking about how I really feel to people. I feel like this blog allows me to do that but I don’t want to feel so afraid doing it all out there. I keep thinking and telling myself, if only I had gone on that school trip, if I had been allowed to do that, perhaps I would have a thicker skin, be more courageous, be more assertive. I try to surround myself with people who are, so that maybe it rubs of on me. So far, I notice a slight change in me but I still feel so unprepared.
Has anyone else ever felt this way?
Anyway, thank you for taking time to read this again.
2 thoughts on “Lack of experience, unprepared for the real world”
Here’s some unsolicited advice:
Read Sean Covey’s “7 Habits of Highly Effective Teens”. (I know you’re not a teen anymore but I didn’t read his “7 habits of highly effective adults” and I don’t want to recommend a book I didn’t myself read). I did read the teens one back in high school as part of mandatory readings for peer mentors. It changed my life without me even realising it because I’m currently reading another book (that you should also read) titled Unwind by Olpin and Bracken. It keeps referencing the skills learned in Covey’s and reading it I realised that I already do so many of the things suggested.
Anyway, read Covey’s then read Unwind. Covey’s will help you master or freshen up on skills needed to take control of your life and get to where you want to be. Unwind utilises those skills and that approach to teach you how to take control of your emotions and emotional life, how to better de-stress, and how to unwind. Those two together should be mandatory readings for everyone.
If you want, read the adults one and let me know how it is 😉
Good luck! And you’re doing just great. Honestly.
Haha I actually do have that on my shelf from high school! I don’t know why I never finished it but I will! Thanks dear!
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