Lonely Thoughts

Okay, so I wanted to be a bit more serious about what I write about lately. I just haven’t had the time to really think about what. I got so used to writing about my personal experiences and things that everyone else writes about. I couldn’t decide on whether to shift into more of a book review type of blog, serious issues with society or just keep it as is. As I get older, I find that things aren’t the same and they will continue to change. I’m currently sitting outside, enjoying fresh air and thinking about what I might have for dinner, while there are tons of people who may not have the privilege. It’s strange when you’re alone, swinging outside and you are with your own thoughts. This morning, I overheard a conversation that broke my heart.

My dad was talking about how he didn’t expect his life to turn out this way, he’s been stressed out a lot. He thinks he hasn’t given us everything we deserve and I’m here thinking we got enough. Yes, we had really difficult times, we were homeless for quite some time, we were that percent of society that lives way below the poverty line. Yes, we have struggled but I feel blessed. I have both my parents here with me (even though I’ve been so close to losing them), I have my siblings, my pets, a roof over my head, an education and I feel loved. I know that we sometimes struggle with money but we spend most of our time enjoying ourselves that I think it really outweighs the bad moments. It really broke my heart when I heard that and I began to think how many others feel this way.

We are a society where there is so much occurring. There is a lot of bad stuff out there, but no one really talks about their struggle in the open. We post everything on the internet but not how we really feel. We post when we are good or want to bring an issue up about something else but we are so private about our personal conflicts. I think the problem is that we are ashamed or embarrassed. I think we shouldn’t. I know that maybe I’m being unrealistic in the way I think sometimes. Sometimes I do wish that it was all cotton candy and rainbows and pots of gold for everyone, but then that would just be really naive of me. I know and try to understand each persons struggle, even when I have my own. I know we can’t fix everything at once. I just wish we could.