Being Maarthaa

It was my birthday recently, I turned 24 years old. Yep, 24! For a whole month, I was basically in a melancholic state. It was not because I was afraid of getting old or dreading it, it was because I think I was saying good-bye to one of the best years of my life and looking forward to the next. Being 23 was amazing, I got to do a lot of things, I never expected. It goes back to things that have occurred to me in the past, those experiences made me realize how strong I really am. I am not here to toot my own horn but to just share the amazing things I have accomplished even when you have had a rough and tough life. There were a lot of emotionally and mentally detoriorating moments in my life and I never thought I would come out of it alive. I’m serious, where do you think I get anxiety from? The past few months, I had terrible anxiety but I was able to overcome that with the support of my family and friends.

Deep down, I’ll always have anxiety because well, I want everything to be just right. Trust me, I am the girl who keeps inventory of wardrobe, organizes her closet by colour and by type of clothing, I organize my books in alphabetical order and by genre. I write my life into journals every single day, I have taken up so many notebooks with my thoughts. I’m a little obsessive when it comes to my life. I have been career focused, grade focused. I have a lot of determination even if I am feeling pressured and I doubt myself. I mean, if you have followed my blogs for quite some time, I have shared bits and pieces of my life and I am not ashamed. I am an open-book in the most private way, if that makes any sense. Even though, I have become a bit more private with my life but I am still not afraid to express and share with you some of me.

I have made it through so much, so how could I not also have amazing things occurring in my life? One of the big ones is my weight, you might think that’s so typical of girls my age, but not a lot of girls have heard that if you keep up with your weight, you could die by 30 because of your familial health problems or be told that if you were to have kids one day they’d be born with them too. I am glad I took initiative to help myself and I have never been happier. Plus getting healthier and fitter will help me with my career goals as well. It just lets me be stronger physically and mentally. Plus people who do exercise are happy why? because of endorphins make you happy and happy people don’t kill their husbands (legally blonde reference…please tell me you got that?).

I finished my last semester, which means I am done school. I finished my B.A and now I await graduation. Who ever thought that I could make it? Well, okay to be fair I have had a lot of supporters in my life, who knew I could do it. But sometimes, I did not think that I could and sometimes I let the haters sneak into my mind. Anyway, I know this post is getting long and you probably do not want to read more but I promise that I am just speaking my mind and not making up for my lack of posts (awkward laugh).

Honestly though, I am extremely happy. I hope to pass the COPAT (physical exam) and I’ll be a jail guard before we know it. I forgot to mention! I am currently in the process of becoming a jail guard!! I am so excited, of course, I am still looking for another job but I am super excited. It’s been a heck of a ride and I am looking forward to just continue on with the experiences. There is so much out there and I am living it up as much as I can!

I am honestly so excited.


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