Okay, so this has probably been done, like a million times. But there’s no harm in writing something like it again, right?
Anyway, we’ve all at some point dated people who it just did not work out with, some of us have dated people who seemed like they were the one, until something tweaked and they were the complete opposite of who they showed you in the beginning.
So I cannot speak for everyone but I have had two pretty awkward experiences in my life. I usually don’t even get myself in relationships or date or whatever because I honestly do not have the time to even breathe. You’re probably thinking, why should I listen to someone who has only dated twice in her life? You’re right, I may not have loads of experience but I have experienced enough to know I deserve better. I have also heard countless situations that my friends have been in and that’s also enough.
But here are some signs that show you that the person you are dating is not good for you at all. I also apologize in advance because I might go on a tangent/rant about certain people who shall not be named, just to prove my point. Well, here goes nothing:
1. You caught them in lie. Okay, so we all lie at some point in our lives, but when the person you are dating is telling people different stories about things. It’s generally a bad sign. This is bad for you because you will never know when your significant other is telling the truth or just down-right lying to you. For example, someone I used to be with would constantly tell me that he did not want to go clubbing anymore, (I have never been a club girl, It’s never my thing, so him saying that was awesome) he said that he was outgrowing that phase BUUUUUUT to his friends he was telling people I wouldn’t let him. This is a sign for a whole bunch of other things–like he makes you sound like a manipulative, crazy person when really you had no idea what was going on. Also, he OR she is just saying what you want to hear and that’s not a sign of a healthy relationship at all.
2. No freedom to be who you are: Okay, so I am guilty of doing this. I think most girls are. We think we can change guys into being gentleman-like, clean and nice to us all the time. Well, no. Unfortunately, You can’t change someone. Another part of this is making the decisions for your significant other. I get it, you’re in a relationship and you want to have a say in what the other person does BUT there are limits. Both of the guys, I have dated wanted me to do what was best for them and not me. I dated someone who would get jealous of me volunteering (which is a big part of who I am) because there would be guys there. Crazy right? You also can’t interfere with someone’s life dream even if it changes. For example, if you’re significant other wants to travel or study abroad, trust them and support them. Don’t say crazy things like I can’t handle you being gone or I won’t wait for you. That just makes you a jerk. Don’t be a jerk!
Don’t constrict someone. Don’t let anyone pressure you into anything.
3.Abuse. It comes in many forms. Physical, psychological, verbal, etc. Couples argue, that is inevitable. The real problem is when one person takes on the blame, you don’t talk about it, you are being guilt-tripped into things. Get out of that relationship. Someone who says they love you will never hurt you in this way. Tons of people are victims to this everyday and I’m telling you, there are people who can help. Sometimes some of us deal through it on our own because of the shame but it can get pretty unhealthy. Its okay to talk. Your friends would never want you to be in a relationship where you are not respected.
4.Misery. Relationships are never perfect but do not be in one, when it no longer makes you happy. If you feel angry, flustered or even anxiety. This relationship is not working out. The person you’re with is supposed to share happiness with you. If you’re always giving or always taking then you’re both just done with each other. If you’re sick of the person you are dating, don’t stick around for it to get worse.
These are pretty obvious. Of course, there are many other factors that point out whether you are in an unhealthy relationship. When you literally feel sick to your stomach, want to scream, cry, it means you’re done. Don’t stay in a relationship where you are hurting someone or you’re being hurt. Don’t settle. Don’t lower your standards. Someone is out there for you. Just be patient. Be happy with yourself. Its the best relationship you can have.
being maarthaa 